Relationships come in all shapes and forms — but surprisingly, a healthy one is the hardest to find. Toxicity in a relationship can be hard to detect and what’s even harder is to leave after the realization. One of the major toxic tropes we often hear of, mostly in a male-female relationship is the ‘I can fix him’ complex. And it’s no different in the context of Nepal. Well, we have news for you ladies, you can’t fix him!
Numerous factors come into play on why women in this particular situation feel the need to ‘fix’ a man. Hopefully, if you’re in such a situation, you will realize after reading this article that — no, you can’t ‘fix’ him.
How Women Are Brought Up
In most societies, women are brought up to be nurturing and soft-spoken. They’re made to believe that to be the perfect woman, they need to be soft and caring — which ultimately creates some sort of a savior complex in some women. So, seeing a guy who’s so ‘broken’ must raise the feeling of wanting to save him.
Media Promoting The Trope
Let’s face it, in today’s world, what the media shows us is what we swallow whole. So, the idea of ‘romance’ can become distorted — with the constant sight of dynamics with sad, broken men who are essentially abusive, and naive women who endure it all in the name of love. Mainstream movies like Kabir Singh and Tere Naam are the post popular depictions of this.
These movies tend to promote the idea that that no matter how abusive or utterly creepy a man is, if he has a sad backstory and that our love can fix him. Most importantly, these movies promote the idea that abusive behavior is actually romantic.
Self Esteem Issues
‘Bad boys’ show characteristics of being incredibly rude and even narcissistic. So, if a woman already has lower self-esteem, the idea of an otherwise rude man loving you and only you must be appealing. Also, in many cases, women are taught to compete with other women since their worth is only calculated by beauty. So, staying with the ‘bad boy’ can make them feel better than other women.
Why The ‘Bad Boy’ Trope Is Attractive
‘Bad boys’ can be described as hypermasculine men, oozing confidence, and who tend to be rude. But, since they seem so unapproachable, they might feel like forbidden fruits. Also, the women with these aggressive men must feel secure, knowing most people would fear him. However, the same aggression is something they too have to deal with. But sooner or later, the realization that fixing these ‘broken’ men isn’t an option is bound to come.
If you’re in this situation, try to know your worth — wake up and break up. Don’t let them manipulate and intimidate you into staying.